♥ Love

So grateful for having these girls in my life.

So I'm sick.

Yes, woke up with a fever, sore throat, flu and cough.

So I didn't head to school.

Lazed around in bed and just went online from just now.

Yesterday night, Shaa came over to meet mama and me.

Had our dinner and slacked around Simei.

Harun and Buddha joined shortly after.

Had some beer, had a good talk then went home.

Oh not to forget, there was this bangla who came to me and Shaa.

And asked " girls you want ice cream?"

KEPALA HOTAK DIA ICE CREAM.

Macam nak hentak kepala dia kat tembok, tumbuk konek dia, tendang muka dia sial.

He was drunk and walking around.

And the next thing we knew, he was masturbating at the void deck like wtf.

DISGUSTED AS HELL.

So anyway, shall rot at home today. 

As for him,

He doesn't understand why I'm mad at him.

I don't know what else to do now.

Except to, disappear from his life.

I guess I'll be doing him a favour too anyway.

To get his dream girl, the perfect kind of girl? Hah.

So I'll stay away from love now.

Not that it's my choice anyway.

If I fall, I just do right?

Hahahaha, well..... Please lah I should stop falling for jerks. Enough already.

Take care <3

♥ I'll find mine

Hi.

So I'm staying off partying. For at least Wednesday. That aside;

Sigh. You know the feeling where you know things just won't work out no matter how you tried?

Yes, I'm getting that feeling. Not that I've tried my very best too, but why should I give my best if that someone can't even accept me for what and who I am?

Oh yes, I have an oh-so-bad past. Okay it was fine with me when he said it was a tough pill to swallow.

But honestly? I feel like he look down so much on me.

That's not a very good thing right? Neh, not a good thing at all.

That aside too, 

(In italics are his words.)

Yes I drink lots of alcohol. Yes I eat a lot. YES I AM FAT, for that matter. 

"See it's good enough at least I'm trying to accept you even though you're big sized."

Okay, yes......... I'm tall and fat.

Wah wah wah. Okay lah so, I'm supposed to feel so honoured that he's contacting a girl like me.

And that I, get to contact a saint / hunk like him?

It's like, he made me feel that I don't deserve him.

It's like I'm way below his standard.

Le sigh, I put both my hands up. I can't do anything anymore.

"I won't talk to you if you don't get me my present." Seriously? Okay.

That pathetic. I mean that little to him.

This heart aches as I'm typing everything out here. It really hurts so bad.

As I talked to him on the phone earlier, many thoughts raced my mind.

Is this really how I should be treated? No matter what my size, my past, seriously? 

I didn't promise him any gifts. But I WOULD be lying if I said I didn't actually want to save for his much wanted 90 bucks costing present. I did want to. 

Till he said, "Sial lah, if you buy me a birthday card, I'll just throw it to your face."

Imagine how my heart crushed. Upon hearing that, I'd rather gift it to my dad or brother.

I've never spent that much on anyone I've ever loved anyway.

For the fact that I don't even come from a well to do family, if I save that much for you, you must be somebody....................

He had someone else in his mind anyway. Losing me wouldn't even mean shit.

All those praises on your twitter for a girl, I don't even think that's for me.

I don't even think you think that highly of me.

I had my reasons for assuming. For thinking all those thoughts and tweeting those all night.

You would literally raise your voice at me, saying I'm irritating, saying that I'm thinking too much.

It has nothing to do with your busy schedule. 

I understand his busy schedule completely. 

I understand that he won't have that much time for me.

But sometimes, it's just these little things that matter to us girls.

The way we're talked to, the way we're treated.

I may be wrong, I may be right.

But......... I think I've reached my limit.

I told myself that I will try to hold on.

But...... Not if things have come to this.

Sigh.........

Life goes on. What will be, will be.

♥ I miss you blogger hehehe

HI I'VE MISSED YOU BLOGGER!

So these were how my days were spent.........

Besides random meet ups with the girlfriends of course! :)

Shall do a proper update tomorrow!

♥ Stop

Hi.

Maybe I should stop filling my head with stupid thoughts, but I guess that's only because I don't get your full assurance that you won't break my heart.

But I guess,what's life or love without risks.

I chose to do this, so I chose to risk my heart of a heartbreak.

I'm not anybody's idea of a perfect girlfriend/wife.

I have tattoos, I have a past of my own which I have left, I still drink, I still party, I meet up with my friends often that I don't have time to date, I love to act like a boy, I burp and fart whenever I feel like it. I........ just am not. I do not have good skin condition. I make lame jokes. I am half deaf. I have a very big tummy where there have been people who have mistaken it for pregnant. I am forgetful and my friends call me slenger. I do not come from a well-to-do family. I am an irritant. If I like you, I get insecure easily. I assume a lot. I have had my fair share of bad experiences. 

I am insecure with myself, yes. But with the support of friends around me and of course much, nagging, I am learning to love myself. 

I shall leave it to fate. If it's meant to be, it will be. Maybe with you, or not with you.

Maybe with someone else? I have no idea what my future have in store for me.

Who does anyway -.-"

So, I shall tell myself to stop thinking too much.

There's no point, I'm just gonna irritate the other party.

I'm not afraid of you being unfaithful, I'm just afraid of never being good enough.

So so so so, 

WHERE MY PARTY PEOPLE AT!?

Heh heh heh ^^v

Sidetrack, I do wonder sometimes, when will be the day I really and finally decide to wear the tudung.

That would be one of the biggest changes of my life.

It would mean change of lifestyle, change of dressing and change of most things in life.

I can't say it would be anytime soon, but Insya Allah, before I leave this world.

Goodnight sweethearts ♥ 

♥ Moonboy

How could I have stayed that thin last time? -.-

Hi. I'm back once again for another update I guess.

I.........don't know what I'm feeling.

I'm feeling sad, guilty? Did I do the wrong thing?

I don't know........

I've gotten so used to him being there for me.

But I just can't see us together.

Sigh.

I feel like such a bad person.

And from the way he talked to me earlier, kinda break my heart a little.

I say all this, but can I really bear to see him love someone else?

Okay this part, I am selfish I know.

But well, my heart.... can't love him anything more than friends.

That aside.......

I hate having negative thoughts.

I keep thinking this will never work out.

I have to relax, like seriously.

Meeting this crazy lovable bunch tomorrow! Can't wait. Much misses.

cinta indah

cinta juga bisa berubah menjadi sakit

begitu yang kurasakan kini

perih hatiku tinggalkan cinta

tak pernah terbayangkan

dan tak pernah terpikirkan

cintamu dan cintaku akan berpisah

namun harus kurelakan itu

untuk hidupmu agar lebih baik

maafkan aku

setulus hatimu

kepergian diriku itu bukan keingininku

jangan bersedih dengan keadaan ini

jika kamu menangis

aku juga ikut menangis

terima saja semua ini kulakukan untukmu

CHEY seriously? Lyrics? Hahahahaha okay.

♥ Is it you

GLAD WE'RE FINE NOW! :))

Had a good talk with them. Also around last night were Kak Su and Ez. Amir came around halfway after work. It was a good drinking session except that I was kinda violent towards Amir, I apologise, hahaha.

But he kept bullying me so I guess it's okay right? Haha!

So........ Yeah, everything's fine between all of us now.

YAY!

I'm sorry.
But I guess I did tell you before that I never wanted to give you any hopes that we'll ever be together.
And furthermore, after that one incident, I guess, like I've told you, it seemed even more impossible.
Whatever that you may be feeling right now, I just hope you'd feel better. Take care, moon boy.

Well as for you Mr. A, I hope this won't end in just another heartbreak (': 

♥ Back together

One year before, we shed tears and had to part.

We have been best friends for 9 years now.

My longest friendship with anyone.

We would be anywhere together, till November 19 2010.

The separation was hard at first.

But I had to move on with life and I got used to your absence.

Though we were distant in sight, I know our hearts are still together.

And now, you're back once again.

My life would definitely take another turn with you around me once more.

We both found new friends. 

We'll spend lesser time with each other now, but I know you'll always love me best and vice versa for me too!

I have missed you best friend and I have been waiting for this day.

That you're finally out.

We're finally reunited sayang.

Now let's complete whatever we have to and work together towards being free women.

CHEY WOMEN.

I love you Sharifah Dhaniah Bte Syed Adnan Al-Hady.

♥ Sharing

Six ways to earn even after Death.

• Give a copy of quran to someone. Each time one reads from it, you gain. 
• Donate a wheelchair to a hospital. Each time sick person uses it, you gain. 
• Participate in building a masjid. 
• Place watercooler in a public place. 
• Plant a tree. You gain whenever a person or animal sits in its shade or eats from it. 
• And the easiest of all, share this message with people. Even 1 applies any of the above, you gain.

♥ Cabin Crew Dream and Messes

 Girlfriend is coming over tonight, to talk things out.

Sigh, the things we say in a fit of anger......... is just very unpredictable.

I really thought it was the end for us after our exchanging of texts this afternoon.

But I guess, we really can't bear to leave each other after all.

So I'll be seeing her later. Can't wait. I love you Kak Su.

And as for you two.

Sigh. Why are we such a mess?!

WHY OH WHY WHY WHY.

I won't take sides. And I can say my conscience is clear, I took care of you Khiriana, so did Farrera of course and I was there for you Farrera while you were feeling down. 

I really hate to see us in this state.

It's all really just a big misunderstanding.

You two were so close and both are like my sisters.

I hate to see this happening.

Now that the rest are drifting, it's us three that are always together.

What becomes of us now? 

There's not a reply even for me. Am I in the wrong too?

Sigh.

I just really hope things would get better.

I don't want us to part ways. Not now not ever.

I love you girls, Yana and Usmah, so much.

I guess we are giving partying a rest now with all these misuderstandings and tiffs.

Sigh.

So anyways! Idk to feel psyched or... so afraid over the Silkair interview coming up.

I have zero confidence which is actually really bad if I really want this.

I guess I am very afraid that I'll just mess up.

But again, I'm just trying my luck and this is my very first time going for cabin crew interview.

Finally! Trying to achieve my dream.

I don't think I'll get the job, but I guess giving it a try won't hurt.

And at least I'll know how flight stewardess interviews are by then.

How the interviews go.

Stage 1

2 interviewers VS 10 hopefuls

Firstly, the interviewers ask us to reach a certain arm-reach length, we must take off our heels and we can't tip toe. Then we sat in row and we're asked to introduce ourselves. From there, the interviewer will elaborate on asking us some questions. Some questions may be simple like how many siblings you've, what is your hobby, what are you currently doing.. and some can be the popular ones like why do you want to be a cabin crew, what are some of the things cabin crew does, and why must we hire you.. After that, we're asked to wait outside for a couple of minutes for the interviewers to consider our applicants. Then, we're being asked into the room again and this is when they announce those that got through. For my group, 5 of us got through out of 10. I heard some of the groups, mostly less than 4 got through out of 10.

Stage 2

1 to 1 interview

1) Once again, I've to introduce myself. But this time, the question session is way longer. If I'm not wrong, the interviewer will evaluate on the way you speak, how you carry yourself and are you physically and mentally ready to be based overseas, being far away from your family and loved ones. This session may takes up 10-15 minutes.

2) For those that passed the round above, will receive a passage and we've to recite and read out the passage given. I guess this is to evaluate on the way we speak, and communicate with others. Of course, also the pronunciation of the word itself.

3) Proceeding to the following round, I was given a set of uniform to change. This round is basically uniform fitting and skin check. I was asked to do a short catwalk and the interviewer check my hands, arms, neck, legs and thigh to see whether there are scars or visible acne.

4) Lastly, after getting through the uniform fitting and skin check round, I receive some forms that need to be filled up, and a letter regarding the date of the final interview session with the management which dated on the following week.

-End-

Final Interview with The Management

1) Only 24 was chosen overall. But 2 of them did not show up for this last round of interview, so its only 22 of us.

2) We've to introduce and talk a little about ourselves, and our background in front of 5 interviewers (Management Team) & the other hopefuls.

3) The management team will then proceed with a couple of questions for us, basically just a fun chit-chat session not so much of the tense or serious interview mood.

4) We're all told to wait for news via email for further notice.

To sum up, for those that got in, received the comfirmation email the following day.

- END -

Sounds scary right!? Alamak how like that hahaha. I scared lah I don't have the answers to some questions.

What if I stutter?!

Oh God, help me please.

And wish me luck! Hehe.

Take care readers.

xx

♥ Why guys love girls

-via Tumblr

Why Guys Love Girls:

1.The way they always smell good even if it’s just shampoo
2.The way they always find the right spot on our shoulder
3.How cute they look when they sleep
4.The ease in which they fit into our arms
5.The way they kiss you and make everything alright in the world
6.How cute they are when they eat
7.The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end its all worth while
8.The way they are always warm even if its minus 30 degrees
9.The way they look good no matter what they wear
10.The way she fishes for compliments even though you both know shes the most beautiful thing on this earth
11.how cute they are when they argue
12.How their hand always seems to find ours
13.The way they smile
14.The way you feel when you see her name on the caller id after you’ve had a big fight
15.The way she says “lets not fight anymore” even though you know an hour later…
16.The way they kiss you when youve done something nice for her
17.The way they kiss you when you say”i love you”
18.Actually.. just the way they kiss you
19.The way they fall into your arms when they cry
20.Then apologizing for crying over something that silly
21.The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22.Then the way they apologize when it really does hurt (even though we dont admit it!)
23.The way they say “I miss you”
24.The way you miss them
25.The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesnt hurt her anymore…Yet regardless whether you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them… it matters not.Because once in your life whatever they were to the world they become the world to you.When you look them in the eyes traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without a trace of sound you know that your own life is inevitably consumed with the rhythmic beatings of her very own heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of a mind, but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.

♥ Forever confused

‎15 years old, no make up, hair still healthy and eyebrow thick like cockroach.

Hi.

I want so much to express myself. But I don't know how to put my feelings right now, into words.

I literally stared into the keyboard, thought many thoughts and just....... blanked.

My heart's always so confused. Or is it my mind?

Am I doing the right thing? 

What am I even doing?

Hi there future husband, have you found me? Are you already in my life? Or are you still somewhere out there and I haven't found you yet? Oi what I find you. If you haven't found me, come take me away please.

What are you doing?

Will we have cute babies? I would love that.

Why am I talking about this?

I don't know.

There's so many thoughts in my head.

And I can only think of this right now.

Or maybe because this blog is public, it is kinda hard to express fully.

Well then I'm glad I still keep a diary!

Have a good night sweethearts.

♥ In another life

Hi. I'm back.

I don't know why I get the urge to cry so much recently.

It's like I can just stare into space and my tears will just well up in my eyes.

I guess it's thanks to PMS, but still,why?

Sigh,yesterday........I could see how my first love still cared so much for me.

But it's highly impossible that we'll ever get back together though.

Oh, I'd know.

We lead different lives now.

We have different views on different things now.

We grew up, we changed......... At least I did.

No matter who I dated, nobody could compare to you.

Sadly, because of what you are and your tattoos, my father strongly dislikes you.

Well it's going close to 3 years now.

We may not be together, but promise me we'll always stay at least as friends.

Just the way we are now.

Hopefully, one day, I'll find someone like you.

And I'll fully,get over you.

Hilman ♥

All these money can't buy me a time machine, no
Can't replace you with a million rings, no
I should've told you what you meant to me, whoa
'Cause now I pay the price

In another life I would be your girl
We keep all our promises, be us against the world
And in another life, I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away

And in another life I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away

♥ Project night

Hi.

These are pictures for last Wednesday night.

Went for project purposes!

My favourite girls.

HAHAHA I forgot why we gave this expression to Kak Su.

Currently can't stop listening to Katy Perry's, The one that got away.

Life's been good. 

Yesterday was just another drinking session with the girls.

I had fun with them, even though the last bit was kinda emotional. 

Nevertheless, time spent with them is always good.

Shall do up a proper post................when I feel like it, hehe.

Bye!