♥ Stress

Hi.

I'm having a rough start with this new year.

I just feel like, everything is just so hard.

Like, God is really testing my patience and perseverance. 

Be it with friends, love, family or school.

Everything.

I have been feeling so down lately.

Maybe it's because I've been too happy and it's just time for me to fall right now.

Like fall hard. With deep cuts and bruises to my heart.

A huge tiff with the best friend.

A heartbreak.

Lacking behind school work and assignments.

Personal family issues.

And I broke a mirror. -.-" I believe in superstitions.

Faii.

Faii faii faii faii faii. The name stuck on my head.

My friends had never approved of me dating you.

But still, I chose to gave you the chance and I thought you could prove them wrong.

But... I guess not. You were never mine to begin with anyway.

I know we barely have memories together. We've never spent time together, just the two of us.

We merely met twice and that is also, just a hi bye thing.

But I guess I fell in love with just you, as a person.

The thing with me, I either fall too easily or... I don't fall at all for you.

Yes you may be restrictive, but I loved the way you cared.

I got used to your phonecalls, your texts.

Your voice, the way you talk to me, everything.

You became a part of my life unknowingly.

People may not understand how I can grow to love you, but I just did.

But........ I guess things don't always go the way we want it to.

He was never mine to begin with.

He had always been in love with someone else.

I was just a stepping stone, a passer by in his life.

Someone to help him realise how much he actually loved, the other girl.

In this, I gained a sweet friend, Iraa.

The girl whom Faii truly loves.

I guess, in love, we just have to sacrifice. And well, it's alright that we're just not meant to be.

Up till now, I'll never know whether his words were ever really true.

But not that it'll matter anymore anyway.

It has to not matter.

I can't deny the fact that it hurts so much looking at everything before my eyes.

But I'll just have to endure everything and move on............

Just like he told me to.

Faii, if you're reading this,

All the best with Iraa.

Cherish her now and don't break her heart again.

You guys can make it okay? 

I give you my blessings.

Stay happy always and take care of each other okay.

Goodbye.

So yes, another heartbreak.

What more with my other problems.

Sigh, I'll just have to be strong.

Though inside, it's killing me. Everything is.

:')